Khuruf

[GuardianTempest]

For ten thousand years they slumbered, now they rise! All is lost! As Malal's harbingers, they will lead the others to judgement like lambs to the slaughter. Misfortune follows their every wake as economies crash, plagues spread, buildings explode, crime rates increase, governments are controlled, and so on and so forth. Therefore it is your imperative to be vigilant against them. Make sure they stay out of your borders whenever and however you can! Otherwise they'll infiltrate your nation and distort it from within, before long YOU will be the outcast in a nation of heathen murderers! These creatures are nothing more than demons in sheep's clothing, luring you with their facades before tearing all you love into shreds!

In truth, these nomadic "sheeple" are actually quite nice and docile. They are Malal's favorite race not because they are malicious or anything, but because they are his favorite punching bags. He finds it so satisfying to watch these innocent flocks constantly being ostracized and haunted everywhere they go. They bear untold amounts of suffering until they break, after which they cause suffering for everyone else.

Physical Characteristics
Average Height: 1.2-1.8m
Average Weight: 40-80kg
Languages: Trade, Celestial
Common Personality Traits: Nomadic, enduring, hospitable, pious, weak-willed
Common Physical Traits: Woolly fur, curly horns, horizontal pupils, stubby tails, herbivorous diet
Example Names: Achmed, Hanam, Leggy, Shaheen, Watame

Racial Statistics
Characteristic Bonus: +1 to Charisma or Fellowship
Skill Bonus: +1 to Charm and Persuasion
Power — Strength Through Suffering Begin play with the feats Death's Door, Critical Expertise and Guts.
Size: 4

Physical Qualities

Khurufs are bipedal sheep whose appearance seems incongruous with their notoriety, but atrocities can be done regardless of one's form. Ever heard of the term "wolf in sheep's clothing?" Some claim that they perfectly represent the four Chaos Gods. The Khuruf's fleece can host various pests and diseases for Nurgle, certain individuals have curly horns that show the twisted influence of Tzeentch, the curvaceous hindquarters of the females (and some males) can tempt weak-willed men to Slaanesh, and the misfortune they bring is certainly Malal's handiwork.

Let's start over from the beginning.

Khurufs are hardy bipedal sheep with a tendency to bear the brunt of misery every step of the way. They exhibit typical ovine features like a woolly coat and horns, which could be curly or stubby. The presence of large horns is not indicative of their propensity for headbutts. Some individuals could make do with small horns or none at all. Although they exhibit a herbivorous diet, they are actually omnivorous. It's just that it's easier for them to work with crops and access to processed meat is a luxury few can afford. The most peculiar trait about their bodies is how susceptible they are to esoteric distortions yet they still retain a lot of functionality before expiring.

Playing a Khuruf

Khurufs are refugees constantly on the run, if not from discrimination then certainly from disasters no fault of their own. Many endure various hardships as they try to find a new home with the other races. Wandering, begging, complying, anything they can to be allowed to stay. Most of the time they are rejected and go back to wandering the harsh wilderness by their lonesome, other times they just end up in imminent doom like a tribe of Black Spiral Dancers, but the occasional community that genuinely welcomes the sheeple with open arms would end up with regrets one way or another. Some groups give up finding a new home and create their own in the middle of nowhere. These small townships are often found in desert environments and almost never reach any significant size.

It's not like the discrimination is completely unwarranted. Those that can't endure end up breaking and, if they don't already end up dead, become the monsters other people accuse them to be. That's when the Khurufs live up to almost every stereotype they previously tried to defy. This happens often enough that people are wary but not enough for people to predict and prepare accordingly. All because the others won't give these sheeple a chance... because of similar incidents that happened before. This self-sustaining self-fulfilling prophecy is the highlight of Malal's entertainment, until he gets bored and gives everyone a break to forget so he can surprise them all over again later.

Not everyone is unaware of the truth. There are many greybeards who do recognize the flock's innocence but they prefer keeping their distance anyway. Even if the sheeple's reputation is mostly fabricated, the misfortune that accompanies them is very real.

Khuruf Heroes

[             ] was a philosopher who, in pursuit of the ultimate truth, ended up insulting the gods and was smote out of reality. Literally. From outside of existence he found his answers and learned about the true nature of the universe. Empowered by his enlightenment, he returned to the Material Plane a changed man. He tried to share his discoveries with others but he was rejected. They hated him even though he told them the truth. As a fugitive from every god including Vectron, visual depictions of him are forbidden to avoid incurring divine wrath. It doesn't help that the few supporters he has are all fanatical terrorists.

Bianca was a young lass who was sweet and innocent even compared to the other Khurufs. One day a pride of Rakastas suddenly showed up to kill and eat the entire flock. She survived by the pride leader sparing her so she would grow up into a better meal. As she cradled what's left of her mother in her arms, the white fleece of pure innocence was stained red with the blood of her family...and the leonine she butchered afterwards. The little lost lamb continues killing, her shattered mind long gone to anger and grief, hoping for a catharsis that will only come with her death—if anyone manages to kill her.

Once upon a time, four different cults devoted to four minor daemons banded together to sacrifice this Khuruf to Malal. The Chaos God considered the offering then had other ideas. He empowered the sacrifice, freeing them and making them his Chosen. They were sent on a holy mission: to establish their own cult devoted to Malal and wipe out the other cults. Why? Because it was funny and probably ironic for the sacrificial lamb to be the big winner. Now the cult grows at an astonishing rate, while cults of the other Chaos Gods and the forces of Order are beginning to take notice. How will this end?

Racial Feats

Power in Misery (Paragon Asset)
Why are you still here? Just to suffer! Whenever you avoid an effect by passing a test like a spell's saving throw, a weapon's special qualities or conditions like being on fire, you may choose to fail as if you rolled a zero instead. If you do, you restore a spent (but not burnt) Hero Point, Action Points equal to your Excellence, and all your Pressure Points. This asset can only be used on enemy and environmental sources. (No asking your friends to electrocute you!)

Battering Ram
You show people what's on your mind: kinetic force. Gain a Headbutt natural weapon (1k1 I; Melee; Brawling) and your melee attacks deal +1k1 damage with the Charge action.

Big Floof
The wool that covers your body is very thick and fluffy, giving 4 AP to all Hit locations that doesn't stack with worn armor, doubled against melee Impact damage. If the wool is sheared and used in the creation of something (such as clothes), the final product becomes Good Quality. Wool is flammable though, giving a -1k0 penalty on attempts to extinguish yourself.

Heart of Glass
Khurufs don't break like dolls or toys, don't snap neatly into two—they shatter. Whenever a roll on the Shock Table would restrict your actions, knock you unconscious or render you helpless, you instead enter a trance until the end of the scene. Gain the Mindless trait, an immunity to Fear, and your actions don't trigger Alignment tests. You also prioritize your own survival above all else and forget previous relationships, seeing everyone as either expendable or an imminent threat. This effect may be ended early by snapping out of it with a TN of 3 times the Shock Table's roll that triggered this.

Malfested Salvation
Mutations don't reduce Characteristics and Degenerations (except for Witch-Mark) provide the opposite effects: Characteristics are increased, Fatigue is halved for determining effects, a minor derangement is cured, etc. They still look unholy as hell. Whenever you would lose Devotion, gain a new Degeneration instead. If the number of your Mutations or Degenerations (whichever is higher) exceeds your Devotion, you are instantly removed from play as if you reached 100 Corruption or 0 Devotion.

[GuardianTempest]

You see this XKCD comic? Yep, that's the main inspiration of this race. In fact, my earliest draft was a hackneyed attempt at directly adapting it with an unfitting burrowing ability among other things. However there's so little material to work with and there's already like a handful of other "dangerously ominous" races like the Felen, so I had to completely overhaul the concept into space Muslim sheeple. Because of how offensively silly this homebrew's idea is, I meant for it to be posted in response to someone making a bad homebrew race. The idea was "Wow, if you're gonna allow that homebrew race then you might as well allow this, which is intentionally bad but not as bad as the race I'm complaining about." Yes, it's petty, I know. Of course, the last homebrew race was my Gremlin so... I guess I'm protesting against myself!

What Could Have Been - The Racial Feats

• Jihad Warrior - All non-magical attacks you make have Indignant. At level 5, they also gain Righteous.
• Religion of Fleece - Get the joke? It would provide a free specialty (Smuggling) to Larceny and some other undecided bonus
• 72 Burdens - Undecided effect, probably increase carrying capacity

Originally, Jihad Warrior's benefit was plainly "Whenever you would fail an Alignment test, you may gain 1d10 Insanity instead of losing Devotion." However, it would be bad if a racial feat would be strictly better than an Exaltation asset. There would also be a secondary effect that lets them benefit from that insanity.

Beta Power — Walking Decoy: "Why me? Why me?" Why NOT you? Adjacent characters can redirect attacks meant for them towards you as a reaction. (Basically the opposite of the Novice's Blend In feat)

More trivia: the racial bonuses were originally +1 to Fellowship/Composure, and +1 to Animal Ken and Disguise. Part of the "joke" is that they're the least used characteristics and skills in my opinion so far, and by sheer coincidence also works with the "space Muslim" idea as well. Y'know, because goat herders and terrorist disguises?

Of course as you can see I've completely changed up the concept because I've put in so much effort that this no longer warrants being a joke race anymore. Plus I owe it to chippo.

Yes, I'll admit, Big Floof is placeholder. Open for suggestions.